mayseek life

thoughts...images...sensations...

Friday, August 31, 2007

photo friday-"insignificant"

yet extraordinary..........
check others at photo friday site

Thursday, August 30, 2007

breaking up the blogjam with blues


i can relate to this definition :" Blogjam, the condition of being backed up with too many ideas to comment on and not enough time to write on one's blog." seeing bb king last night -i can't help but write how incredible he was. the energy of the band and bb playing the guitar was a powerful experience! his voice is truly memorable. actually, this is quite the week- i saw rufus wainwright on sat.- bb last night, and tomorrow i will take my mom to see tony bennet (a birthday gift to her) i am blessed. the last few years i have found watching musicians that i love(with good seats!) is a religious experience for me.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

that was then, and this is now.....



it seemed so gradual- now i'm feeling the reality of time. here are the boys, nate and nick. first, as nate was on his way to kindergarten class and nick still home with me. fast forward to last week as we take nick to southern illinois university in carbondale. we returned home and nate left the next day, to begin his 3rd year at indiana university. to my surprise i have moped around the house -crying at times feeling such a deep sadness. happily, time is softening the intensity- and i realize it is sadness for "how things were". what i hope and wish for them is courage to be themselves, happiness in sharing time with others outside of their circle, gratitude for the blessing of continued education and most importantly love of life.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

paradox

i want to sit an gaze out the window, and yet can't stop feeling lazy......



American Heritage Dictionary - par·a·dox (pār'ə-dŏks') Pronunciation Key n.
1)A seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true: the paradox that standing is more tiring than walking.
2)One exhibiting inexplicable or contradictory aspects: "The silence of midnight, to speak truly, though apparently a paradox, rung in my ears" (Mary Shelley).
3)An assertion that is essentially self-contradictory, though based on a valid deduction from acceptable premises.
4)A statement contrary to received opinion.


i am feeling deep in the "paradox" of life.........i am isolating myself lately, yet feeling lonely and wanting to connect. i'm wanting to accept my body and feeling the self- loathing creep up and continue to gain weight, i love to see my finished art work - yet feel have too drag myself to the work table, i want to be with my kids yet resent that i feel they want me around if i can do something for them. the list goes on.......
may i come to the end of this day grateful for having had another day, and looking forward to another tomorrow. i do know i'm not alone.

Arabic:
تَناقُض
Chinese (Simplified):
似非而是的论点,自相矛盾的话
Chinese (Traditional):
似非而是的論點,自相矛盾的話
Czech:
paradox
Danish:
paradoks
Dutch:
paradox
Estonian:
paradoks
Finnish:
paradoksi
French:
paradoxe
German:
das Paradox
Greek:
παραδοξολογία
Hungarian:
paradoxon
Icelandic:
þverstæða, þversögn
Indonesian:
paradoks
Italian:
paradosso
Japanese:
逆説
Korean:
역설(逆說)
Latvian:
paradokss
Lithuanian:
paradoksas
Norwegian:
paradoks
Polish:
paradoks
Portuguese (Brazil):
paradoxo
Portuguese (Portugal):
paradoxo
Romanian:
paradox
Russian:
парадокс
Slovak:
paradox
Slovenian:
paradoks
Spanish:
paradoja
Swedish:
paradox
Turkish:
paradoks

Thursday, August 09, 2007

two homes

i was able to spend the last week up in the northwoods of wisconsin again- a few days with fred and a few days alone...i have started a journal that i decided will stay there- and that is an enjoyable project, many insights are gathered by referring to the book after the ideas/images are recorded. i have become aware of how i come apart before i settle into the rhythm of the woods. too bad the days are few and far between that i am up there because this "undoing" takes up time- i much rather like the ease that kicks in after a few days- unfortunately, it's then time to return home. still, i am very grateful to have any time at all in that environment.

in going through my photos of last week-this was the break down:
9- clouds on the drive home
10- lake/trees
14- lily pads
3-flowers
4-frogs
40 hummingbirds

since it is a 5 hour drive home, there is plenty of time to transition back into the "real world." on this return trip the cloud formations, colors, and how low they were was most intriguing. i read cormac mccarthy's "the road", while there and it made the contrast of the landscape he describes in this bleak story even more extreme and powerful. it was a good story and gave much to ponder.


now home again ,i am preparing for the difficult process of sending both boys off to college next week....i am amazed at how time has passed and this is the new phase of our family life. i am feeling nostalgic and blue.