mayseek life

thoughts...images...sensations...

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

rejection..........

" we regret to tell you that your work is not among those selected for ............" it's a strange experience to absorb the news. over time i get that judging art is arbitrary --but i still have to go through the range of feelings (the jurors are crazy, blind, bias, political etc...) and i must admit tonights news of the email informing me is not too upseting. what i have learned is that i'm not taking it personally (wow that only took years) it just is the way it goes--i need to keep working.

Friday, May 26, 2006

photo friday..."home"

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

tues morning's practice (spc)


this is the current routine- wake nate at 6am, then maya shortly after. i am willing and available to drive them -one to the train station the other to school when they are ready. on the ride this glorious sun filled morning, i had just had a love filled moment with nathan..i am moved as i look in his eyes (nineteen years old and i still see the eyes that where new to me as a baby years ago) and express my concern about the current" issues" and offer suggestions. he hurries to catch his train and i drink in this tall handsome young man in a suit (only slightly crumpled) on his way downtown to his bank internship.....again i am moved deeply, this time to tears-i am so filled with love. as i return home to pick up the next passenger, i remember something she said to me yesterday and think of what i really meant to say in response that i didn't. i make a plan to tell her how happy i am for her and the idea she told me about and for the third time on this simple drive i am filled with such emotion i can barely contain myself. happy i think -i'm so filled....and the sounds of the radio begin to infiltrate my reality and it is a broad cast about capturing some terrorist and the politics of the middle east-- i feel my joy dissolving when that reality begins to take over. i make the choice to turn the radio off and continue to sensate in my joy. no doubt i will ponder the worlds dark side soon enough, and to do that with a deep human wisdom i must bask in the love i have going now. at least that is what makes sense in this moment. so, i continue on from here at 8:17am.

Friday, May 19, 2006

the road.....photo friday

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

my joys...(spc)

who i am, is in large part the energy i expend. i love to look at the world and attempt to find delight in what i see. i feel fortunate that this is usually the case. i use most energy in a day with the activities related to mothering and taking care of dailey life. the last year i have been able to add my claywork as a priority and it has become a larger part of me. sometimes i get to travel and this energy has a vibration all its own! this image combines my interest in "seeing" and traveling. maya and i were at the vatican with a zillion others waiting for the pope to appear at the window- we were hot and tired and leaning on each other when a man tapped me on the shoulder and requested that we separate so that his mother could get a better look at the the "father". i was able to take our picture --both of us in rome -very much alive and feeling joy in our own ways.

Monday, May 15, 2006

thanks to the teachers

spent the weekend at omega in rhinebeck, ny. pema chodron led a teaching on"no time to loose" her recent book. i am grateful for everything that fell together so that i could open to her wisdom. her reminder that- i suffer most when i want what i don't have and don't want what i do have- again became clear. her humor, insight, patience, gentleness and grace filled me. so today i have the courage to see what life presents and trust i can breathe through it! i highly recommend omega as a place to learn and relax in a beautiful nature preserve.

Friday, May 12, 2006

masterpiece X 3

this week's theme on photo friday is masterpiece..... a couple of weeks ago we traveled to a meeting at the home of the owner of a group of businesses that employs fred. this spectacular home is on the ocean in naples florida. i'm still processing all that i saw,felt, and experienced. along with putting 30 couples up at the ritz, spa services, a shopping trip and gift card from the wife-- we had dinner at their home. yes, that is a monet and two renoir's on the wall! today i am leaving to go to omega in ny for a retreat led by buddhist nun pema chodron....how's that for contrast?

Monday, May 08, 2006

i was there...(spc)


i was at the beach this morning...enjoying the patterns on the ground. i am taken with color, texture, pattern and saw this image that captured their forces for me. i then noticed that there were footprints there also -as i checked my sandal i realized i had walked there a moment ago- it was my effect on that space! so i feel this image represents me and can be considered a self portrait. this is an important part of who i am and what i hold dear...the earth in its changing nature.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

the sign is there when i am looking....

we left at 5am this morning to pick nate up from indiana university(yea-one year down!). 13 hours later, i'm wiped out. thinking he would be packed and ready to go when we got there, we had to wake him from a deep sleep. though he swears he spent hours packing, we worked for several more just to haul his belongs to the car. amazing -i know it will be a long summer and we'll have to again adjust to each other but the love is deep and we'll all learn so much. the universe let me know all day- with reocurring signs- that things will be alright. on the waydown the songs on the radio were better than ever- i sang to Don't worry about a thing,'cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Bob Marley, "Three Little Birds" - song "Legend"- albumJamaican reggae musician & singer (1945 - 1981) and felt happy...then at lunch, at my favorite restaurant in bloomington, (encore cafe), i saw these words on the toilet wall!! how i love that my camera is always in my purse.

Friday, May 05, 2006

adolescence- photo friday

bingo! may lilacs...


when the plan hits the mark i can only smile in gratitude. about 10 years ago i planted 3 small lilac bushes outside the kitchen window, hoping to one day be doing the dishes while appreciting the scent of lilacs. the bushes are now massive and today was that day i had dreamed of--how glorious.

happy birthday maya


you are my sunshine........ thanking you for being a teacher of deep and powerful lessons. may your wishes and dreams come true. i love you. 14 years.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

bermuda




bermuda - striking water color, vast variety of flora, lovely! i found the energy calm and loving. though the reason for being there was a convention- i was able to pack in incredible experiences. i am grateful to have had this adventure.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

identity

today, i identify with the princess in rain boots who delights in: music, love, the ocean, trees, laughter, texture, color, clay, chocolate, movies, walking, touching, observing, exploring, and breathing. tomorrow, i get to choose again!