mayseek life

thoughts...images...sensations...

Monday, January 30, 2006

self portrait tuesday


i have been appreciating what i've seen on various blogs that display the self potrait tues badge and find the direction for imaging a great means of expression. i would like to try and follow the themes and see how it goes. this month has been "personal history".... this image, is one i love of the "blessed mother", maya,and i this past summer in italy. our reflection as we peered into an altar for the virgin mary summed up the reality that i was looking hard for any help i could get in strengthening our mother/daughter relationship. our italian roadtrip did widen the communication on some level. her 13th year, however, continues to be a challenge on all levels.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

blue man style


took my mom to see the blue man group for her xmas present today-gave us time to have an afternoon together. i got to enjoy watching her laugh and see something different. though i had heard the show was updated..it was a repeat of the past. i would recommend it highly for a good time.
i have experienced so many years with my mother -felt every emotion possible in relationship with her and still have to "work" while in her presence. i think it mainly is to manage all the conflicting feelings. she really has been a teacher in the greatest sense.

Friday, January 27, 2006

perception is a funny thing


i carry this small teleidoscope in my purse and sometimes need to see the world a little differently....not that anything is terribly wrong....it just shakes things up a little. spins it around, shifts the perspective, enhances the color (kind of what drugs/alcohol had done-but i can get on with life with this item and i never could stop with the other) . right now i could use the temporary perception shifter. i must be doing ok(at this moment) if this solves my malaise.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

you can't always get what you want.....


i still can't quite settle down. the stones concert renewed my faith in man, put a spring in my step and has me feeling giddy.......(at least when i close my eyes and relive the event.) powerful feelings because it was terrific. i know now that 60 is what you make it and it can be exquisite....mick jagger really has a unique energy and there is something beautiful about aging. it was really funny how many gray/bald heads can fill a stadium....i was amazed even more when i realized i was looking at my peers! i guess i found
...
......... i got what i need (oh yeah)

Saturday, January 21, 2006

snow medicine!


finally snow...it came fast and furious last night. todays sun has melted some- but it was what i needed. after i dropped maya off for the snowboard trip at 7:30am, i enjoyed coffee at the lake and drove around watching what seemed like a lot of older men(older than me even!) shovelling their driveways.


















yes, i think snow is the medicine for my winter ailment.

Friday, January 20, 2006

what a drag it is getting old......

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so fred tells me someone offered him tickects for the stones concert on monday--did i want to go? my first response is where are the seats??? it has been 27 years since i last saw the stones at chicagos soldiers feild. the day was memorable not only because it was a really good show -but because i thought i was actually going to suffocate while being crushed to death when the crowd surged forward as they opened a gate to enter. i can remember the panic...those were the days!! as i was trying to decide- weighing how i really did like the stones vs i really don't like the idea of being so far from the stage and having to deal with the crowd.... nostalgia won and i will go! it's almost like an historical event--how much longer can they tour? i will take my binoculars and hope for the best. today they were featured on the radio and i'm in awe of the sheer volume of songs. jagger is not only one fine rocker in my book -his lyrics are incredible.

What a drag it is getting old

"Kids are different today,"

I hear ev'ry mother say

Mother needs something today to calm her down

And though she's not really ill

There's a little yellow pill

She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper

And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day

"Things are different today,"

I hear ev'ry mother say

Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag

So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak

And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper

And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day.........

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

clay












what a night..... the magic of clay. this collection is being touted as the most comprehensive of the 20th century period. the colors, texures and strong forms were moving. i feel it was a wonderful presentation....the rooms were dimly lit --felt calm and at the same time charged with an energy. it was difficult not to grab the bowls and cradle them---they were begging to be touched.

Monday, January 16, 2006

the content of our character.....

this mornings moon

Click here: Martin Luther King - Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech
after reading these his words and filling with appreciation for his leadership i think this rilke poem says it best--

Some People Wake Up
Again and again
Some people in the crowd wake up.
They have no ground in the crowd
And they emerge according to broader laws.
They carry strange customes with them,
and demand room for bold gestures.
The future speaks ruthlessly through them.

----Rilke.

Friday, January 13, 2006

winter rain

which later turns to sleet/snow.....i feel appreciative of the nuances of this day....the overcast sky, the moist air, a chill in the tempurature. if i had my way i'd curl up this evening with a book or movie. instead, fred has a business dinner and i will go downtown and do what must be done. tomorrow is the "big" year end work party for him and we'll do it again. it's not that i don't enjoy a party---this festivity is just not my idea of a good time. 250 people (some happier with their job than others) add booze (lots of it) and i look for the earliest way to exit and go back to the hotel room! i will look for the coversation or two that is genuine and will practice not judging. and i won't forget---"it's all good!"

Monday, January 09, 2006

"happily ever after"...the movie

just finished watching this french film and this scence is now my very favorite! charlotte gainsbourg and johnny depp happen to stand next to each other and are listening to the same song (radioheads creep) in a music store. they exchange glances and..... longing...posibility...sensuality..timing..curiosity.. energy... interesting movie- there are two scenes-this being one - and the final scene that i found incredible. had to rewind and watch again. i love cinema!

right here...right now

(my claywork)

searched for the guidance i need today and found myself returning to the basics-


"do not pursue the past. do not lose yourself in the future. the past no longer is, the future has not yet come. look deeply at life, just as it is arising in the very here and now. recognize it- invincible, unshakeable. care for it with your heart and mind."
--the buddha

when i find myself experiencing todays dissatisfaction these words ease the stuggle
.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

tomorrow

tonight i am ready to close my eyes and leave this day....try again tomorrow...... enough said.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

happy birthday michael stipes!

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mica lover

from the moment i saw mica suspended in the sunlight in a swimming hole in north carolina, i have been taken with this mineral. it was while at penland -we went for a swim in the toe river...i was in awe watching this twinkling water. splashing around was magical. what a memory. each time i go i load up my car with a big box of mica rocks. now i grind the shales in a coffee grinder and add it to the clay i use. on this dreary wedesday it brightens my day as i work to prepare for an upcoming show at around the coyote. this show will happen in february and i am anxious and hopeful.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

happy new year of uncertainty

i actually think i know where i'm going sometimes -- i get determined, set a course, and attempt to move toward the direction...... then i remember the john lennon lyrics from " beautiful boy "
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,
so as i begin another year , i am open to aiming for my life to head in a certain direction and am prepared to make continual adjustments..like a pilot. maybe i need a helmet?

todays photos are from a new years walk at the botanic garden near my house